I love quotable quotes. A good quote sparks my imagination, it makes me conjure up circumstances that prompted it. Take this example:
Enjoy the little things in life because one day you`ll look back and realize they were the big things. - Robert Brault
I wonder if Robert Brault was sitting by the beach, looking back at the last 5 years when he realized all the big things didn’t matter as much as he thought they would. I wonder if he arrived at his (5 year) older self with more stuff but none of it beat the simplicity of idling and people-watching without a care in the world. Ok, at some point you’ll pick up on the fact that I’m not wondering but projecting. I’m sure Robert had epiphanies of his own but highly unlikely they happened at the beach, over the same 5 years time frame. No, that is my story to tell and I’d love to share what I learnt.
5 years ago, I moved to the US with a list. A list of things I was told I’d need: A car, a house, more money, more friends, more hobbies, more fitness, more of pretty much everything that’s worth talking about. Overtime this I internalized this list as absolutely essential to being happy; so I go to work. Fueled by the illusion of transformation and a sprinkle of insecurity, I ticked off the original items in the list. (I say original because the list keeps growing, there is always more to pursue). One of the big ones was a car, it was a big enough endeavor to learn driving for the first time and important enough to be insecure about. I imagined a car-owning version of me, very fulfilled by the ability to teleport to far-off places: only to find myself content in places I didn’t need a car for.
Photo by Blake Sherman on Unsplash
This story is familiar; it reminds me of the parable of the fisherman and the banker. We conclude that the Mexican fisherman was wiser because he chose not to pursue money and power knowing that it didn’t influence his happiness. Its an acceptable take but I think its very simplistic. More stuff (within reason) can infact make you happier. The value of things is not necessarily having them but in the options they provide. A car is an option to get to places quicker, a house is an option to comfortably host loved ones, friends offer options to immerse worlds other than your own, disposable income activates the option to support people or causes you care about, with fitness comes the option to engage in activities you may enjoy. The list goes on and there is no denying that these options do infact make you happier.
Photo by Blake Sherman on Unsplash
Its the same reason we love summer. Even though for only a few hours a week, we get to engage in summer shenanigans, there is magic in the warmer months. The activities are awesome but so is the option to simply be outside. To sit, observe and be observed just like how I found myself on that lounge chair. I was content being there, having multiple options to get home and many other destinations to choose from. Its easy to take our options for granted when we have them. It helps to look back and imagine alternate universes without them.
Having said that, here is another quotable quote for you:
Happiness comes from options, appreciate the ones you have.
You probably already know that or perhaps you needed to be reminder. Good to keep in mind while pursuing things. It definetly helps keep you grounded, adapt gracefully and dare I say live a happy life.